skip to Main Content
picture of toilet rolls in a toilet

“If publicly accused of having a dirty bum, do nothing!”
-Yoruba  Proverb


Having such an accusation thrown at you is a huge embarrassment of itself. And while it sounds counter-intuitive, doing nothing is the only way to minimize the humiliation and damage to your reputation.

Whether it’s true or not, if you denounce the accusation as a malicious smear attack, the (already-entertained) people will demand evidence. If you refuse to show evidence, they will take it as an evidence of guilt. And if you agree to prove  your accusers are liars, how do you provide evidence against such intrusive accusations?

Do you pull down your pants, bend over, and spread your butt cheeks before the people for careful scrutiny?;it won’t matter if you were right, and your butthole is as clean as a beggar’s well-licked plate. The act itself is a generous topping of humiliation on your current predicament.

There’s a saying;

“Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it, your enemies won’t believe it”.

I know there are times you need to explain yourself,  to people  you have close and genuine obligations towards or relationships with. Asides that, here is the moral of it all;

  1. You don’t always have to defend or explain yourself.
  2. There are malicious people who are entertained by the misery of others.
  3. You can’t always practically defend yourself even when you are right, especially to people whose minds are already made.
  4. Have a tough skin, there will be unfair and damaging situations in life that’ll be outside your control.
  5. Always clean your bum after using the toilet.
  6. Even if you prefer using water, still buy toilet rolls and let people see you buying them. When accusations come, your witnesses might recall that and defend you, and even then some will readily point out that buying toilet rolls doesn’t mean you use them.
  7. Read points 1, 2 and 3 again.

Leave a Comment!

Tolu Akinyemi

Tolu' Akinyemi was born in Akure, the capital city of Ondo State, Nigeria.

His writings have appeared in a number of notable anthologies such as 'Verses From The Sun', an Association of Nigerian Authors anthology, 'A Way With Words' (2014 & 2016), a Great British Write Off Anthology and other printed and online outlets. His poetry play 'The Big Society'; written for The Stephen Lawrence Charitable Trust, London was performed at The Greenwich-Lewisham Young People's Theatre, London. In 2017, he was named on the 'Nigerian Writers' Awards' list of '100 Most Influential Nigerian Writers under 40' and also won the 'Poetry Writer of the Year' Award. In March 2017 he obtained an 'Exceptional Talent Endorsement' as a writer, from the Arts Council England.

You can find Tolu on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter (@poetolu). He believes in 'The Big Bang Theory' TV Show, Google and Jesus. Tolu currently lives in London, England.

This Post Has One Comment
  1. Funny!!!! A very subtle way to send a message everyone need to hear. That one thing I need to learn myself, most times there is no point explaining yourself. One might even complicate things more.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Back To Top