The Story of my Wife -By Tolu' Akinyemi

My wife becomes a mute when mad at me. She would completely ignore me, pretending not to hear anything I say, and getting her to say even a word becomes as futile as cooking a stone in a sieve. Her last ‘silence war’ lasted three full days. I noticed she had ‘outgrown’ her favourite dress, and I stupidly mentioned my observation. This time, it has lasted a week already, a whole week of weakening frustration, yet without an idea of what my offence is or how to appease her.

I have tried everything, so far, nothing has worked; not even the flowers I sent to her office or my sudden delight in making breakfast and dinner, every night. All my efforts have been as futile as cooking a stone in a sieve with a candle, outdoors, on a windy evening.

The seven o’clock news came on, when I decided to give it another try; perhaps, ‘the god of the news’ would look down on me with mercy. I joined my wife on the sofa and softly whispered her name, but she was too engrossed in the book she was pretending to read. I cooed again, in a husky voice, attempting to sound seductive, it was however tinged with desperation. “Oluwakemi…

I had deliberately made her name linger on my lips. There was no answer. “Guess who was at our office today?” I said. I paused to see if I caught her attention. I caught nothing so I continued. “It was your friend, Ngozi. She wanted me to give you the 150,000 Naira she owes you for our wedding’s aso-ebi. Can you imagine dear? Two months after the wedding already, your friend is funny sha”.

’Kemi shifted a bit uneasily on the sofa but without looking in my direction or saying a word still. My eyes brightened at the little reaction. It was the best I had gotten all week and it encouraged me to press further. I might be able to get her into a conversation soon enough. “Honey, I bought a new laptop today, a great machine and for a very good price, of almost 150,000 Naira. You know, it’s a needed replacement for that old horse I’ve been using since we were at the university”.

My wife shifted again. I could sense she really wanted to say something but was holding it back. I kept talking. “I used the… er… money from Ngozi, but I’ll surely refund at the end of …er…”

A quick lightning flashed across the room interrupting me, but it took me half of a second to realise the flash was my wife springing up from the sofa, with a menacing heave of her chest. “What?” ’Kemi bellowed, shocking me a bit with her transformation into a roaring lioness. “You did what, Femi? Spent my money, that I already had plans for?” She began to churn out several strings of words that could communicate her displeasure to a deaf man six streets away, before finally bursting into an incoherent tirade.

I sat still and watched my wife, but the effect of my calm demeanour on her, was akin to splashing water into a pan of boiling hot oil. It only infuriated her more. I kept on watched her energetic out pour, till I couldn’t hold my laughter anymore, letting it out so violently, the walls of my stomach appeared to collapse.

Then slowly, it all dawned on ‘Kemi. Her face brightened as she began to laugh as well. I was already pulling the wads Ngozi gave me, to give my wife when she said, “you know liars will burn in hell right?” “So will people who get angry easily about money” I retorted, smiling and sticking my tongue out at her.

She responded with what looked like a frown, a smile and a pout all mashed up, as she reached for the nearest pillow to strike me with. I quickly rose up, knocked the pillow off her hands and with a quick jerky movement, pulled her closely into me. The news was still on, but the newscaster’s voice sounded drowned and very far away. We simply stood there closely, in the centre of the living room, in silence, staring into each other’s eyes. ‘Kemi’s breathing got heavier as her eyes slowly began to shut. She looked really beautiful.

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  133. Robert,Well, as also a VB.NET developer, if I need to search something relating to VB.NET, I always prefer to use term VB.NET in search box and NOT VB. Using VB in search term didn’t guarantee that search result will only specific to VB.NET. With regards to this, I was presuming that most of the VB.NET developers use VB.NET in their search term.If you put VB in search text in Google, you will notice majority of search result are either relating to classic VB, VB Script or ASP.Thanks

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  167. Ho trovato questoMessa “riparatrice” per implorare la misericordia di Dio ‘su quelli che hanno approvato la legge sull’aborto’. Sara’ celebrata domani, a Pordenone, nella chiesa della Santissima. L’iniziativa e’ dei cattolici integralisti di ‘Instaurare omnia in Christo’. La messa di riparazione – scrivono – sara’ celebrata con rito romano antico nel trentesimo anniversario dell’approvazione della legge 22 maggio 1978, n. 194.A quando una messa riparatrice e la consegna dei colpevoli alle autorità giudiziarie,dei responsabli dei genocidi??

  168. HelloBello*o*Nagyon imádtam ezt a fejezetet is és sikeresen elkezdődtek szerinte a bonyodalmak, amik még szaporodni fognak, remélem *-* Valóban sok mindent megismerhettünk, nagyon élveztem, ahogy olvastam a részt *-*Várom a következő fejezetet ^^ Ha van kedved, benéznél hozzám is?:) Puszillak(LLL)

  169. You tell such funny stories, LOL!!!! But what I really want to know is did she win anything??? If she did than you should get half for all the hard labor, LOL!!! I love this card, I want to make one like it, hint, hint!!! Have a great night!!:o)P.S. thanks for the special delievery this morning :o)

  170. rog frumos sa raspunzi si la intrebarea concursului:Care este volumul/seria ta preferata publicata de Editura Litera?:)Multumesc pt sustinere :).Ai dat like pe facebook-ul Litera?Daca postezi comentarii si pe blog-ul Litera,numele tau intra nu doar o data,ci de 3 ori in tragerea la sorti si astfel ai mai multe sanse de castig :)Mult succes tuturor participantilor la concurs 🙂

  171. Indonesia dari lomba yang pernah aku alami di Tingkat Nasional tahun 1997 sampai lomba desa yang barusan selesai kayaknya masih sama, pemenang utamanya adalah……………..berdalih……….kebijakan…………….atw pemerataan……………

  172. Grant,One of the reasons why Seattle had good stats against the pass is they’re in NFC West. Which team in the NCF West has a starting QB that scares you? Do you know what this stat is for games they played outside the division (for both the Niners and Seattle)?

  173. ah sama saja, di kantor gw juga seperti itu…mas…anuku ngga bisa di jalanin,kenapa yah (hayo..ngeres… )wah mbak bisa tanya sama bagian desktop yah.ah… masa IT ngga bisa sih?hhahahaha IT-ers (istilah di tempat gw) memang DEWA dimata mereka

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  175. Wonderful blog! Do you have any suggestions for aspiring writers? I'm planning to start my own website soon but I'm a little lost on everything. Would you recommend starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I'm completely confused .. Any recommendations? Cheers!

  176. En resumen, sos un inutil para lo que conectar chavas se refiere. Yo me hubiera bajado, la ayudo con la mochila, etc. con tal de sacarle conversacion. No por nada me he conectado (y algo mas)algunas del maria luisa samayoa y del belga.Para escribir y que todo el mundo sepa que sos un inutil, mejor que quede en tu memoria.

  177. wesh koozin!Cash le gros pain dans sa gueule.ça me rappelle quand j’explique à ma mère kiffer!Déja certains essayaient d’importer ces bons mots:« Harley David son of a bitch », ou« Donc si tu veux nous écouter, paye cash et comptant ! »

  178. You have noted very interesting points ! ps nice internet site . « He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea. » by Thomas Fuller.

  179. You’ve been eating well and if you have never been before this first plan on testosterone therapy and exercising from commencement, you’ll certainly surprise yourself at the amount of transformation you’ll have experienced by then.

  180. False rant. Sandra Fluke’s testimony never mentioned her own sex life and didn’t ask anyone to pay for her sex life. What she did ask was that she and ALL women be able to have comprehensive medical insurance that THEY pays for. and you wonder why the GOP is losing the female vote by 20 points.

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  186. Your physician may also prescribe this drug as a treatment for breast cancer or other medical conditions along with taking testosterone to treat a low sexual drive.

  187. Correction, my wife and I are sixth cousins (we share a set of g-g-g-g-g-grandparents but not a set of g-g-g-g-grandparents), making my kids each others’ seventh cousins (if you trace them independently up 2 separate lines.My wife doesn’t like me to share this story. It freaks her out.

  188. Mary szerint:Sziasztok! Nekem ez a 2. hét, hogy paleózok…. és én is jobban bírom, mint gondoltam, csak néha nagyon megkívánok egy szelet sajtos pizzát, vagy egy kis müzlit tejjel reggelire. Azt már tudom, hogy mandulatejet lehet inni.Az lenne a kérdésem, hogy a müzlit helyettesíthetném-e valamivel esetleg? Amúgy csak nyers gyümölcsöt szoktam reggelire enni.A válaszát elÅ‘re is köszönöm!

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  190. When I discovered that Moonstone was doing Flint, I volunteered to design the logo, and that's it there on the art.My original version *did* have the cigarette lighter flame, but I was asked to remove it and replace it with the ying/yang symbol.I'm not sure quite what rights the Moonstone guys have negotiated…

  191. Nothing short of the quintessence of it all, like the discarded corner stone. Your descriptions and photos bring home the smells and tastes of a cooking that is all too rare in Americanata. When I go, I do hope that you might divulge the name of this place and the one on the coast.

  192. If your fermentation is really stuck (no bubbles any longer). You should take the wine of the lees and press it; re-inoculated the wine with yeast (follow the instructions for re-inoculation of stuck fermentation on the package). If you’re are going to inoculate the wine with Malolactic bacteria you should do it after pressing the wine. good luck

  193. Debra,As a rule of thumb, I always copy comments to the clipboard (Ctrl+C on windows systems) before posting. This way, if something goes wrong, I can paste them again easily; and when particularly paranoid, you can also save the text in a file through notepad.Like they say – better safe than sorry 🙂

  194. I have a friend who is so saecrd of not being able to breastfeed, and worried that she will have to give her baby “poison” as she calls it. I keep telling her – formula is FOOD. We all know the studies and “breast is best”, but when it comes down to it, whatever keeps your baby fed and healthy is what is best!Formula feeding is not “failing”….. it’s FEEDING.(and all that coming from an EBF Momma, ha!)

  195. TroÅ¡ku mimo téma, ale k té korupci. Jak se správnÄ› zachovat, když mi nÄ›kdo nabídne úplatek a to v reálném čase. Varianta a) znamená okamžitÄ› človÄ›ka odmítnout, ovÅ¡em se ztrátou možnosti jej z úplatkářství usvÄ›dčit. Varianta b) pokračovat v jednání s ním za účelem získání důkazů jakoukoli formou. Což ovÅ¡em nese rizika s tím spojená a sice – jak v případÄ› takovéto provokace prokážu, že jsem reagoval jen abych dotyčného usvÄ›dčil. P.H.

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  197. others.On starting Mediaraptor, you will find the user interface quite similar as seen in Tunebite, Radiotracker, and the ultimate of them all, AudialsOne, divided into two parts.On the left, you can search for

  198. Does anyone know if Maksym Shynkarenko, the “Ukrainian” man now living in New Jersey and charged with child pornography–graphic scenes of adults having sex with infants and small children–is Jewish? He probably is Jewish because why else would they make such a big deal of calling him a Ukrainian. He probably is a naturalized U.S. citizen of Jewish descent, living in New Jersey, but I was wondering if anyone knows.

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  200. You should visit your healthcare provider to find out whether you actually have low T or simply the natural decrease in testosterone level associated with aging before considering testosterone treatment.

  201. You have noted very interesting points ! ps nice internet site . « He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea. » by Thomas Fuller.

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  205. i dont know what samlc is talkin bout but a gtx 460 with mid resolution should easily run at med/high custom settings, but you’ll need more ram and the cpu might bottleneck the gpu so med/low custom setting should work with what you got you dont need an i5 or i7 they are a waste of money if you ask me, the phenom ii x6/x4 is just about as good, i mean yeah its a tad slower buy that tad isnt worth another $100-$150 amd’s are the absolute best choice for the price/performance intel is

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